Home

Never has a buzzer woken me

To such a beginning as it did

I moaned as I read 3 a.m. 

My body fell out of bed 

And rode to a plane 

That flew me to a vast, new place

Completely unknown to me

Far from my family

That same place became my home

I ran off the plane

Sprinting, wide eyed, ready to embrace

Everything coming my way

Little did I know

It was more than I could take

A rickety bus took me across dirt roads

A side window allowed me to see 

Mountains and trees 

Everything new and amazing to me

Someone said bed and I fell in

Not knowing it was the last time

I’d fall asleep with blinded eyes

Sharp streams of sunlight 

Sunk into my skin

Welcoming me to change

To embrace

To new life

I ran and ran

Sprinting up the mountainside

Praying this trip would turn out alright

Washing out the voices of negativity

Replacing them with Yes Lord

And I am yours

Then they came

My babies

My friends

Captors of my heart

The meaning for my being

Broken heart after broken heart 

Stepping off of a bus 

And running into my arms

Strangers that I somehow knew

And then she

The smallest one

Changed me entirely

Her deep brown eyes

Crying desperate

They stung me

Her sweet sweet kisses

Begging love me

They tore me

Her angelic smile

Saying know me

It broke me

So I held her and held her

Kissed her and kissed her

And we danced and we sang

And I wished we could stay this way

Springing from her heart was this hope

Overwhelming our souls was this joy

And we knew, just knew

We were in the presence of Jesus

And there was this peace with us

Despite the aches

Despite the pain

Between the cracks of breaking hearts

And the scars written on beaten faces

Penetrating hope sang

You’re home

You’re home 

You’re home

Golden melodies escaped from their voices

Voices that sang with profound truth

Telling their stories

Sharing their hearts

Through abandonment

Rape

Aids 

Disease

Theft

Neglect

Pain 

Anger

Life

These orphans

They live in hope

They illustrate faith

They illuminate joy

They became my home

Because home is where you’re completey known

Where fear and pain are incapable of taking away

The light and joy that keeps me sane

Home is where I live out my purpose

Where I am called and where I am found

Where my heart is desperate to return

Home is with my babies in Africa

This truth became evident to me

And my soul was taken with despair

When I thought of leaving my new home

And returning to a place where I was no longer known

When I imagined explaining this new story

And finding no words to capture this journey

Wondering how I could take people with me

In a way that could help them walk with me

And walk with my orphans

So I cried out and prayed to the Lord

Until my eyes opened wide

Could no longer stay awake

And I fell into a bed

Not knowing what was to come

But trusting the Lord had a plan

Never has a buzzer awoken me 

To such a beginning as it did 

I cried as I read 5 a.m.

My heart collapsed in my chest

And I climbed aboard the bus with my team

That took me to a now alien place

To a place completely unknown to me

So far away from my African family